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Candy Store is the second song of Act One of the Off-Broadway musical, Heathers.

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Heathers- The Musical - Candy Store (lyrics)02:53

Heathers- The Musical - Candy Store (lyrics)

Lyrics

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Are we gonna have a problem?
You got a bone to pick?
You’ve come so far
Why now are you pulling on my dick?
I’d normally slap your face off
And everyone here could watch
But I’m feeling nice
Here’s some advice
Listen up, biotch!

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]
I like!

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Lookin’ hot
Buying stuff they cannot

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]
I like!

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Drinkin’ hard
Maxin’ Dad’s credit card

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]
I like!

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Skippin’ gym
Scaring her
Screwing him

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]
I like!

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Killer clothes

[ALL HEATHERS]
Kickin’ nerds in the nose!

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
If you lack the balls
You can go play dolls
Let your mommy fix you a snack

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Woah!

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Or you could come smoke
Pound some rum and coke
In my Porsche with the quarterback

[ALL HEATHERS]
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
Time for you to prove you’re not a loser anymore
Then step into my candy store

[HEATHER CHANDLER & HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Guys fall

[HEATHER DUKE]
At your feet
Pay the check

[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Help you cheat

[ALL HEATHERS]
All you

[HEATHER DUKE]
Have to do

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Say goodbye to Shamu

[ALL HEATHERS]
That freak’s

[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Not your friend
I can tell in the end

[ALL HEATHERS]
If she

[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Had your shot

[ALL HEATHERS]
She would leave you to rot

[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
‘Course if you don’t care
Fine! Go braid her hair
Maybe Sesame Street is on

[ALL HEATHERS]
Woah!

[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Or forget that creep

[HEATHER DUKE]
And get in my jeep

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn

[ALL HEATHERS]
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
You just gotta prove you’re not a pussy anymore
Then step into my candy store

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
You can join the team

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Or you can bitch and moan

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
You can live the dream

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Or you can die alone

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
You can fly with eagles

[ALL HEATHERS]
Or if you prefer

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Keep on testing me

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]
And end up like her!

[MARTHA]
Veronica, look!
Ram invited me to his homecoming party.
This proves he’s been thinking about me.

[VERONICA]
Color me stoked

[MARTHA]
I’m so happy!

[ALL HEATHERS]
Woah!

[HEATHER DUKE]
Honey, whachu waiting fo—

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
SHUT UP, HEATHER!

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Step into my candy store!

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA, & HEATHER CHANDLER]
Time for you to prove you’re not a lame ass anymore (Oooh woah! Woah oh oh!)
Then step into my candy store

[ALL HEATHERS]
It’s my candy store
It’s my candy
It’s my candy store
It’s my candy
It’s my candy store
It’s my candy store

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