Kurt Kelly, portrayed by Lance Fenton, is a secondary character of the cult classic film Heathers. He is the quarter back of the Westerburg High School football team. In both the film and musical, Kurt is inseparable from his best friend and alleged boyfriend Ram Sweeney.
Kurt is a stereotypical jock character. Alongside Ram, he is often seen making fun of other students, making obscene jokes, or trying to hook up.
In the musical, Veronica Sawyer gets a call from Heather McNamara, begging her to come to the cemetery, and when she gets there, she discovers Heather McNamara and Duke have locked themselves in a car, trying to fend off a drunk Kurt and Ram. It emerges that they escaped date-rape by the intoxicated football players, who are desperate for sexual relief, by telling them that they can have Veronica. The boys aggressively beg her to have sex with them (through the song "Blue" in the musical), but she escapes by giving them more alcohol until they pass out.
The next day, Kurt and Ram spread the rumor that Veronica had sex with both of them ("Blue: reprise"). Heather Duke and McNamara contribute / fail to deny these allegations despite witnessing the truth. The students of Westerburg High School label Veronica a slut.'
In the movie, Veronica tags along to a date with Kurt, Ram, Heather McNamara, and Heather Duke. Ram and Kurt end up drunk and tipping cows, and Veronica escapes early with J.D. From there, they begin to plan the murder of the two jocks after the two jocks spread the false rumor that they had a threesome. Kurt and Ram's murder plays out the same in both the musical and the movie.
After becoming the laughing stock of the school, Veronica and Jason "JD" Dean plot to enact revenge on Kurt and Ram.
Veronica calls Ram and Kurt, inviting them to a threesome at the forest behind the elementary school at dawn. The plan is to shoot the two jocks with 'ich luge' bullets that J.D. has; J.D. claims that the bullets will knock them unconscious, and when they awake they will be the laughing stocks of the school. The bullets are actually real, and kill both Ram and Kurt.
When Ram and Kurt arrive at the forest, Veronica has created two circles in the dirt, telling them to stand there and strip. After they strip, they can strip her and the threesome can start. The two jocks stand in the circles and strip down to their underwear. Then, from behind the trees, J.D. shoots Ram, killing him. Veronica shoots at Kurt, but she misses and he takes off into the woods. J.D. chases after him, and they end up circling back through the area Ram and Veronica are. Kurt is then shot, and J.D. fabricates a scene where Kurt and Ram have killed each other in a suicide pact. A note has been left saying that Ram and Kurt were gay lovers and had killed themselves to be together.
Kurt and Ram are given a joint funeral. They both adorned with their football helmets and posed with footballs in their casket.
In the movie, the pastor gives an animated speech about learning a lesson about love from the two star-crossed lovers; turning Ram and Kurt into martyrs against homophobia.
In the musical, however, Ram's father is the one to give this lesson - through song ("My Dead Gay Son"). Through the song, he confesses that he is also gay and in love with Kurt's father who returns his affections. At the end of the song, they both deliver the message to go out and love one another as their sons had as the pastor had done in the movie.
- "I'm telling you man, it would be so righteous to be in a Veronica Sawyer/Heather Chandler sandwich."
- "You make my balls so blue."
- "What did your boyfriend say when you told 'I'm you were movin' to Sherwood, Ohio?"